one two three fourrrrnication!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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