So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
