so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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