Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
