doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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