I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
