it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
