You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
