Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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