So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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