Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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