He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
