I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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