he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
