yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
