Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
