Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
