I hate your face
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
