i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
