His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
