She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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