Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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