he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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