I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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