You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
