I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That accounts for only three of the penises
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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