Hey man sorry I got all grabby
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
