Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize