ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
