I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
