All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
