There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
