love makes seman taste better
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
