I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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