I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
