He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
