i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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