what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am naked and annoyed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
