i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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