She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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