i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize