It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize