If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
