Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
They are going to name an STD after you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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