So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
