Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
being pregnant is like rehab
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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