Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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