the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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