just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
