So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
