Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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