i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
