You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I cannot find my penis.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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