My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
