Can Purell be used as lube?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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