im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
wat bout pragnant strippers??
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
