make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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