Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
