its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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