if only i could text you this smell
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
