having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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