so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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