I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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