I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
