Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
