We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
