Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
