Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize