I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He did a backflip because drugs
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
