i wish there were pregnant emoticons
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
