Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
