apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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